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THE JOY OF HEAT STROKE
Safety article by Harold Hough June/July 2009
I was driving down State Route 666 on the way to Inferno, Nevada.
Waves of heat were bouncing off the blacktop like simmering vegetable
oil ready for a new basket of raw French fries and the air conditioner
was blowing like a hurricane, which managed to make the interior
of the car merely intolerably hot.
Why was I in this godforsaken place? To report on the new safety
policies at the Desiccated Vulture Mine.
I was here to interview the production manager of the mine, George
Alighieri, - better known as “Blood and Guts,” to his
friends. The Desiccated Vulture Mine had issued a press release
touting its new safety program that would increase productivity
and team spirit, while lowering costs. Needless to say, Miners
News wanted to cover the story.
We held the interview in the conference room, where the temperature
was well over 100 degrees. George “Blood and Guts” Alighieri
cut a fine figure in his pressed jodhpurs and spit shined boots,
although I think the riding crop is a bit too much for a mine
manager. It detracted from the hard hat with four chrome plated
stars.
MINERS NEWS. Mr. Alighieri, Thanks for taking the time to speak
with Miners News.
BLOOD AND GUTS. Please call me “Blood and Guts.” I
prefer that.
MINERS NEWS. I understand you have a new safety program that
increases productivity and lowers costs. Can you tell me more?
BLOOD AND GUTS. Sure. We knew we had to lower our costs in response
to lower copper prices. Our new program focuses on a “can
do,” team spirit. Miners are a team. They live, eat, sleep
and mine as a team. This individuality stuff is a bunch of…
Miners News. STOP!! I get the idea.
Blood and Guts. We call ourselves, “The Few, the Proud,
the Desiccated Vultures.” We ask our miners if they have
what it takes to improve productivity, while lowering costs.
MINERS NEWS. How do you do that?
BLOOD AND GUTS. Since Inferno, Nevada is so hot and energy costs
are a major expenditure, we decided we can best cut costs by ignoring
the heat. Our motto is: “Are you a Patton man or a Monty
milquetoast?” I got the idea from watching the movie Patton.
Patton takes over the Second Corps in North Africa and starts
by insisting that everyone wears ties and leggings. Meanwhile,
General Montgomery’s troops are wearing shorts and open shirts.
I figured if Patton’s troops can fight in the Sahara Desert
in full uniforms and win, why can’t we do the same here at
the Desiccated Vulture? The focus is on ignoring the heat and
getting the job done.
MINERS NEWS. So, how have you improved productivity?
BLOOD AND GUTS. First, we took out all the water fountains. Not
only did it cut down on our monthly overhead costs, it improved
productivity because the workers were no longer able to hang around
the water cooler talking about the latest heat stroke victim.
Now you are judged by how long you can go without a drink of water.
MINERS NEWS. I noticed that unlike a lot of mines that curtail
operations during the heat of the day, you are still going strong,
even when the temperature is 117 outside.
BLOOD AND GUTS. That’s right. No mine ever made a profit
by not digging ore. Slowing down when it gets hot only cuts production.
Patton would be proud of those men working in the heat.
MINERS NEWS. Well, they looked less like Patton’s men and
more like Napoleon’s army during their retreat from Moscow.
What other benefits do you get from this program?
BLOOD AND GUTS. Our maintenance costs have dropped dramatically.
We now consider the air conditioning in our heavy equipment to
be a luxury, which means we rarely repair it.
MINERS NEWS. How can you do that?
BLOOD AND GUTS. We make it a game to see who can take the heat.
We have one haul truck whose air conditioning is broken and whose
windows can’t be opened. We call it the Sweat Box. We give
an award to the man who can stick it out the longest.
MINERS NEWS. Who has the record?
BLOOD AND GUTS. Light headed Louie. He lasted 3 hours 52 minutes.
We are going to give him a cake when he gets back.
MINERS NEWS. Gets back?
BLOOD AND GUTS. Yep. He had a heat stroke and passed out. The
truck then veered off the road, went over the berm, and fell twenty-five
feet. He gets out of physical therapy in three weeks.
MINERS NEWS. Didn’t he recognize the symptoms of a heat
stroke so he could pull over and stop?
BLOOD AND GUTS. Well, he was suffering from nausea, vomiting
and weakness, but he figured it was just a hangover from the wake
he attended the night before for “Old Man” Olsen. Olsen
had started working at the Desiccated Vulture when he was 18.
MINERS NEWS. Wait a second. The mine has only been open for 16
years. How could he be an old man?
BLOOD AND GUTS. That was just his nickname. But, after working
in this sun for 16 years without a shirt or hat, he had more wrinkles
than a California raisin. It’s a pity, because he might have
survived that last heat stroke if it wasn’t for the skin
cancer.
MINERS NEWS. Well, I want to thank you for your time. As a wrap
up, would you like to give our readers some final suggestions
for improving productivity?
BLOOD AND GUTS. Sure. First, remember that all real miners love
the heat of the desert. Second, don’t let small things like
drinking enough water or working in the shade interfere with the
job of digging ore. Third, don’t let miners who feel weak,
nauseous, or dizzy use that as an excuse to take a break. I like
to go down to the infirmary to slap them around a bit. And, finally,
don’t let minor things like air conditioning maintenance
slow production.
MINERS NEWS. Thank you Blood and Guts. I’m sure you have
given our readers something to think about.
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