THE TOP TEN REASONS FOR IGNORING SAFETY AT YOUR MINE
Safety article by Harold Hough -- Feb/Mar 2010

With apologies to David Letterman.

#10.  INJURIES KEEP THE LOCAL HEALTH CARE INDUSTRY IN BUSINESS.  Nationalized health care could ruin health care as we know it today.  In fact, if your mine is near a small community, you could lose health care professionals under ObamaCare.  However, with a steady stream of injured miners; doctor, nurses, and physical therapists will be less likely to move to a larger city.

#9.  IF THE WORKERS THINK YOU ARE CONCERNED ABOUT SAFETY, THEY MAY THINK YOU ARE A SOFTY AND TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU.  If you let people know that you are concerned that they may be run over by a 250 ton hauler, they will think that you are a pushover for anything.  Next thing you know, they will want to take Christmas as a holiday.

#7. ACCIDENTS INSPIRE COMMUNICATIONS.  Business consultants always say that communication is important.  And, nothing inspires communications between workers as an accident.  You can pretty much guarantee that the rest of the day, people will be talking to each other and asking how “Old Joe” is doing.  Of course, they won’t be working, but what’s a little lose of productivity compared to improved communications.

#6. CRISIS ALLOWS YOU TO SHOW GREAT LEADERSHIP.  There is something about a crisis that brings out greatness.  After all, Churchill would have been an unknown politician if it hadn’t been for the Nazis.  You can be seen as the strong leader who steers the mine through tragedy.  Of course, it’s important to be seen as the Winston Churchill of the mine instead of the Neville Chamberlain.  The Chamberlains tend to be the ones who are fired and end up in court.

#5. THE 60 MINUTES NEWS TEAM IS GREAT COMPANY WHEN YOU ARE LONELY.  If your mine is remote and you long for people to visit you, have a few accidents.  Soon 60 Minutes and other anti-mine journalists will come to see you and ask detailed questions about your safety program and management techniques.  Better yet, if you are lucky, they will come back and interview you in prison.

#4. TRAGEDY BRINGS PEOPLE CLOSER TOGETHER AND INSPIRES TEAMWORK.  Forget those classes that inspire teamwork in your workforce.  They cost too much money.  Nothing can bring people together better than a tragic accident.  All that time spent together at the funeral home, memorial service, and wake gives them a chance to learn more about each other and work closer together in the future.

#3. INJURIES REDUCE THE NEED FOR LAYOFFS.  Why worry about who you are going to layoff during the next workforce reduction.  Let the survival of the fittest principle take care of it for you.  You will never have to worry about the embarrassment of dodging down the next aisle in the grocery store when you see one of those unemployed people.  Now you can proudly walk up to the injured worker, give them your heartfelt greetings, and even volunteer to sign the cast on their leg.

#2. ACCIDENTS MAKE THE WORK DAY INTERESTING.  If your workplace is boring, maybe an accident is just what you need to liven things up.  An accident puts a little spring in the workers step as they run to the accident scene.  Of course, they aren’t working, but you can’t have everything.

AND THE TOP REASON WHY YOU SHOULD IGNORE SAFETY AT YOUR MINE. 

#1. UNSAFE MINES ATTRACT SAVVY INVESTORS.  Bad accidents attract new investors.  Of course, the state pension funds will avoid you like the plague and you can be sure that widows and orphans won’t clog up the aisles at the annual meetings.  On the other hand, you will attract savvy investors.  These are the types who buy up cigarette stock the day after the companies lose a billion dollar lawsuit.  The down side is that these investors are buying the stock at bargain basement prices, so you can’t expect to raise any additional capital in the markets.  The other problem is that savvy investors are notorious for dumping incompetent management, so you better have your resume in order